![]() Universities, places of work and other institutions need to realize how difficult it is to grieve a death when the process is rushed. As a result, we avoid talking about death, simply expecting grief-stricken individuals to enter back into their routines whether they are ready or not. The condolences and support people offer feel false, as many of us were never taught how to do so properly. Death is feared and seldom discussed in the U.S., leaving people unsure how to deal with it. The Western world reacts fairly coldly to death. Losing my grandmother made it clear to me how little people empathize with death, especially when the deceased is not an immediate family member. The typical “I can’t imagine how you must feel, how are you holding up?” made its way into every conversation. What could one say in an email about this situation? Nearly everyone I emailed, texted and called offered their condolences. Nothing could have prepared me for the sorrowful days to follow.Īs I gathered the little energy within me, I realized that I needed to email my professors. Many of my peers turned to a common talking point: “But wasn’t it helpful you knew this was coming?” No, it wasn’t. It was a painstaking ordeal: watching via social media the breathtaking summers everyone was having, as I sat back at home waiting for a phone call. It was not unexpected she had been sick all summer and I spent most days going back and forth to her nursing home, holding her hand as I knew that at any moment she could leave. ![]() The woman who lived with me nearly my entire life, who held my hand through the good times and the bad, was gone. This was until I woke up one morning with the worst news of my life: My grandmother had passed. Death itself felt so distant, as if it was a far off reality that I myself would never have to deal with. It was never difficult to fully grasp the pain they were going through I came to realize grief is to an extent incommunicable. Seeing the heartbreak on friends’ faces as they told me about their passed loved one, I attempted to place myself in their shoes. I saw friends and others around me suffer through symptoms - depression, changed eating habits, sleepless nights, tears - I tried to empathize with it all. ![]() Placing myself in others’ shoes always came rather easy, and imagining the grief that came with death was no different. ![]()
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